what will the neighbors say?

I find it amazing – or rather interesting that when we are young we are constantly encouraged to ‘try’ things. “Try the broccoli. If you don’t like it, that's fine, but at least you tried it”. We’re told to at least try things – from vegetables to team sports to a myriad of things and experiences. However, when we become adults and we’re trying different things hoping to find that niche for ourselves, we’re criticized for not ‘sticking with it’, for not ‘following through’. 

My best friend experienced this recently with her husband. Five and half months ago they gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby girl. They had her completely natural. When I say ‘completely’ I mean COMPLETELY. They had her at home with midwives and a dulla. My friend has always been into all things natural such as organic foods, staying away from prescription drugs preferring to use natural herbs, etc. She loved the idea of the whole ‘dulla’ thing and decided she’d like to takes classes towards becoming one. Her husband, who by the way is very supportive of her, said “my only concern is your follow-through”. Granted, she has tried different ventures throughout the past few years – none of which came to fruition. But it was ALL done with great intentions. Her intentions, which are in line with her passion – is her family and the time she spends with them. What could possibly be wrong with trying to find an avenue that will lead you to more time with your family?

And that brings me to my dilemma. Do I tell my family and friends that I’m on this journey of reinvention? Will they, too, criticize my past attempts at finding my right path? My intentions are honorable and good. I want what is best for my family, which to me is being more available to them and having the freedom and resources to provide a better life for them. If I become a better person and parent because I have found my true purpose – how can that not be a wonderful thing?

I recently enrolled in a degree program that would eventually better my financial circumstances all in the name of survival. I researched what industry was up and coming, discovered it was the medical industry and then went about searching which career within that industry would be right for me. Again, all in the name of survival. But is it what I want to do for the rest of my life? Is it what brings me joy and fulfillment? No, no it does not. However, it will bring me better income to raise my child.

But see, I know myself. Eventually, down the road, I’ll get bored and will begin to feel unfulfilled. Because that is not my life’s purpose. That is why I have started this journey to reinvention because in my soul I know I am supposed to be more. God would not have given me my talents if I weren’t supposed to use them to bring joy to my life and others. Granted I’m not a concert pianist or an accomplished artist – but I am creative and I know this to be true. And that creativity is what will lead me to my passion and then to my life’s purpose. I know this, because I know God created me to be more than what I am at this moment.

So, what will the neighbors say? Honestly, I don’t think it really matters. All that matters at the end of the day is what I think and what I feel and what I believe are my capabilities to becoming more.